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Crossroads
Holiday
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http://www.usageorge.com/Wallpapers/Scenery/wallaper/Holiday.jpg
Holiday
Boys Like Girls
When I was younger I used to be wild
As wild as an elephant's child
No one could hold me down
No one could keep me around
Now it's your turn, take a shot
Baby show me everything that you got
Maybe you can keep me alive
Maybe you can get in my mind
But it's only a matter of time
Before I run far away
I need to take a holiday
Maybe it's a fall from grace
I gotta find a new place
A holiday
I'll set off on a new chase
I gotta see a new face
I need to take a holiday
My father, he was always wise
As wise as an elephant's eyes
He couldn't hold me down
He couldn't keep me around
So are you gonna take your shot?
It's the only one that you got
Maybe I'll go out on a limb
Maybe I'll jump in for a swim
When the lights go dim
You know I'll run far away
I need to take a holiday
Maybe it's a fall from grace
I gotta find a new place
A holiday
I'll set off on a new chase
I gotta see a new face
I need to take a holiday
(Need to take a holiday)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
A new start
I've broken too many hearts
And I don't have any clue where to go
I don't know
But maybe I'll be back someday after my holiday
When I was younger I used to be wild
As wild as an elephant's child
And I don't think I'll ever change
I think I'm gonna stay the same
I'll run far away
I need to take a holiday (need to take a holiday)
Maybe it's a fall from grace
I gotta find a new place
A holiday
I'll set off on a new chase (set off on a new chase)
I gotta see a new face
I need to take a holiday
A new start
I've broken too many hearts
And I don't have any clue where to go
I don't know
But maybe I'll be back someday after my holiday
All of the wasted time
The hours that were left behind
The answers that we'll never find
They don't mean a thing tonight
"This is what I exactly feel as of the moment; my life's been going totally insane lately. I don't know how to put my words together to describe how I've been fighting for something upside down the whole time. I feel like nothing happened, nothing ever changed between us. Whew, before I completely breakdown I guess, I need a holiday, I gotta see a new face, and just continue laughing my ass out on the bumpy roads. Funny as it may seem to be, but I had the gut feeling before that we'll work it out together; it's just not enough though..."
PS. / / / - you're one tough mountain to climb... :) This has to stop now before I get any further up, I wouldn't be able to take the fall if something goes wrong somewhere. I'm just one crazy bastard, too scared to take the risk, too scared to trust someone, and too scared to try making things work out. I do respect our differences, but I value more myself, I value more the friendship, and I value more the normal life in front of me. I'd like to apologize for just about everything. I hope you would someday understand.
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Smile
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Hey, it's been a long time... I never thought that we'd get this far. It's such a funny story, yours and mine, looking back, remembering how things went crazily against us. I just couldn't imagine. As I may recall our yesterdays, not matter how hurtful it was for us, it still leaves a smile on my face and an incredbly huge amount of happiness on my heart. It has always been hard, time was never on our side. We never got a yes from the world, from the people around us, and even from ourselves. Today, I may or may still not have the guts to tell you why I made everything appear so wrong when in fact its perfection that was could never compare. I'm sure you'll find out at the end of this letter, but wait, continue reading still from here on; let me just tell you some things that are still worth keeping... :)
Honestly, as time would permit me, you're the only person who brought so much joy in my heart, a joy that's worth all the pain of our becoming. I want to let you know that I am so glad to be blessed with a moment to own the world while you were at my side. I am so thankful because of that simple yet incomparable fact. I would also like you to know that there was something that was greater than forever when you first held my hand and asked me if I was happy. I couldn't answer you back then because words were just not enough to describe the feeling; or maybe I was just too scared to admit to myself that day that I wouldn't want another tomorrow to come without you. Damn, that was one rough ride, it felt like it only happened for a second or two. I miss you. I miss your smile, I miss your voice, I miss the warmth of your presence, I miss the way you made me feel, the way you turned my world upside down; I don't know, I just miss everything about you...
Smile (Charlie Chaplin) performed by Glee Cast. Smile tho' your heart is aching, Smile Even though it's breaking, When there are clouds in the sky- You'll get by, If you Smile through your fear and sorrow, Smile and maybe tomorrow You'll see the sun come shining through- For you. Light up your face with gladness, Hide ev'ry trace of sadness, Altho' a tear may be ever so near, That's the time (thats the time) you must keep on trying, Smile- What's the use of crying, You'll find that life is still worthwhile, If you just smile. Ohhh Oooh Yeah That's the time (thats the time) you must keep on trying, Smile- What's the use of crying, You'll find that life is still worthwhile, If you just smile. Smile tho' your heart is aching, Smile Even though it's breaking, When there are clouds in the sky- You'll get by, That's the time (thats the time) you must keep on trying, Smile- What's the use of crying, You'll find that life is still worthwhile, If you just You'll find that life is still worthwhile, If you just smile.
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Just a Saturday Thought
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"I can clearly remember that morning when I sprang out of bed feeling so happy that it would be another day for us to be together again..."
http://beckaphotos.deviantart.com/art/Saturday-85411653
Saturday. So far my most favorite day of the week. I don't know what thing it is that gets me so excited and gives me the adrenaline rush of my life. I feel so alive on that day and for some reason I always don't want it to end. I guess time is really nothing when you're into something great. Or maybe again I'm dreaming, just like you always say...
This is not any other typical story of living and loving, not something that everyone else experience. I must say this one hell of a complication, tangled strands of our individuality makes us grow and whither in a short time notice. Love hasn't always been the answer to everything, it hasn't always been the key to unlocking what mysteries there is in living; sometimes, love is just love, illogical, meaningless, and merely just a thought. What could be more hurting than a dream of never ending, a dream of forever waiting, a dream of everything nothing? Tell me, I want to know...
You asked me to wait, I did. You asked me to stay away for a while, I did. You asked me to be me, I did. You asked me to be fair, I did. You asked for my time, I gave it to you. You asked me a lot of things, without a doubt I handed everything to you. Now, without my permission, without my consent, without asking from me anymore; you took my heart away... What did I do wrong for you to break it? What did I do wrong for you to hurt me? What did I do wrong for you to push me away?
"I can clearly remember that Saturday morning when I opened my eyes and stayed in bed for I can't feel my heart beating anymore. I’m sure you can feel it, you just ignore it. I’m sure you know you just don’t want to mind it. It hurts so much. It hurts to know that you don’t care at all. All these is just a thought of what love is for me now, of what is loving you despite all the facts. I just hate it when I feel this way; I just hate it because you’re the only one who could make me hate myself like this. If only I didn’t spring out of bed on that morning, then Saturday wouldn’t be that special to me.”
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Something Worth Smiling For
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With all the dramas that happened to my life lately, I've finally found something worth smiling for. This is a very unexpected venture that I took for the past days; I was too busy patching up my life that I ended up messing things around. I can't possibly find any logical explanation for what has just happened between me and the worlds I chose to be in. I guess it's true, no one could ever be in two places at the same time; choosing where to stay wasn't a problem at all for me because before even things get more so-not-desired-and-wanted, I chose to stay where I am. Inside my very own world, alone and free of any hurts. On February 24, 2010 (Wednesday) I realized that my face was too stressed because I was smiling the whole day; truly happy and contented with what I have, with who I am, with where I am, and who I am with...
Sometimes there is one person around you that makes you feel so special and a person that you make feel special; the only thing here is you'd end up choosing where to be with at the end of the day, well in my case I decided to be out of ordinary. I decided to stay with both as someone who would always be there, a friend whom anyone could always count on. But even before things came into their right places, I had to undergo a series of self-renovation, a series of positive affirmations that I have done nothing wrong or anything against the other. I hate picking up broken pieces of me and I hate it even more picking up broken pieces which I never wanted to fall apart. Everything turned upside down, but just like everyone else says; we all deserve a smile after every hurtful fall...
Maybe one of them is right, I chose something over the other, but to tell you people honestly; if there is really something that I chose for myself to have, that would be happiness. It's really something worth smiling I must say, things had been quite crazy around me; the thoughts of people who helped me get through it makes me laugh and I am thankful because they've always been there all throughout. I am happy, we are all happy, and I guess people like the three of us deserve it more than anyone else should. After all the dramas, it makes me feel so good to finally be over...
PS.
Much thanks to:
- Awad
- Plep
- Dave
- Joshua
-and-
- Drea
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| February 25, 2010 | 9:02 AM |
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I'm Crazy
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*for those who would be much in concern of this note, sorry but I have to say this; I have all rights to do so for it just completely messed my life lately...
Oh boy I'm crazy, but this craziness didn't start on me...
Point here is I've taken all the blame on me; admitted that I was wrong when in fact I really don't know what went wrong at all. It's not of me to act this way, you're just a friend, maybe a bit special than the others because of your uniqueness and openness to me; you welcomed me to your life, I give you the credits for that and hell of course you made me feel appreciated. Over a week I fixed my life, hoping that you would understand because you are my good friend, but then you just turned the world upside down for me. I was successful in fixing my life and I was happy, but I never thought you'd start to act strangely on what I did.
I don't have any problems with that though, but because you are so impossibly different from them I tried bringing you back; I turned out to be annoying. I am not committed to you in the first place, but still I impulsively decided to bring down my own house just to let you know how sorry I am and how serious I am in getting things to be better again. You're being a little girl, sorry to say that. I've done my part, pushed myself to the limits, but then again thank you for making me realize that I wasn't being me anymore. I was expecting you to see that, the change you are doing to me; and boy as crazy as I am, you asked me to be who I was. Hope you were more careful of your wish.
I've done my part, being so lost these past few days, not knowing what went wrong and why you acted like I was committed to you; I tried being fair again, but damn you are so unfair. Losing you doesn't mean much to me now, glad you made me realize. I'm not scared to lose you anymore; I'm more scared of keeping you because as obvious as it could be, you are one impossible sissy. So I guess it's the end of the road for us then, I enjoyed my travel with you. I'm not taking this issue farther; the whole world knows I'm the one crazy, not you. None of this should also be taken against you because it was all my decision; you're right, I did make a choice and for the last time I would like to apologize for not choosing you...
If only you've been more patient and understanding, it would not get this far. If only you've not expected a lot from me this wouldn't be this painful. If only you've stayed close, I wouldn't have to let go, and if only you've acted normal then the world wouldn't be this crazy at all... I hate to say this, but I guess it would take more than just false conversations to know who we exactly are to each other. You are a friend to me, please know where to place me; you've definitely been in the right place all along in my life, I just don't know if I've also been in the right place in yours.
It's all my fault still, I'm taking all the blame for it; but I've had enough. You are not my commitment and I definitely am not yours to keep. Thank God I'm crazy because if I were not then I wouldn't know at all where and when to stop.
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| February 8, 2010 | 11:02 AM |
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