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http://ojosverde.deviantart.com/art/The-rain-15090743?q=boost%3Apopularrain&qo=9

 

There’s something about the rain that talks to me, it’s as if every raindrop that falls to the ground calls my name saying something that brings back memories from the past. It’s been quite a while now since I last wrote something, my life as always has been through a lot of ups and downs already; some of which I may no longer even recall. Definitely though, I am still one happy crazy fellow; laughter never left and happiness is a thousand steps closer now (I hope). But then there’s really something about the rain that reminds me of everything else, everything I’ve been through, and everything I’ve been through with. Oh again, those people, yes, them… Countless raindrops, countless memories, countless moments, and it just keeps pouring…

Have you ever had that moment in your life when you just feel like looking up in the sky and search for answers to all your questions when suddenly a single raindrop falls in your eye?

It’s at this very instance, the same shade of grey that I tried looking for answers and found it at every droplets falling from the sad sky above me; what I have become, where I am now, who I am with, why are all these things happening. It’s simply like the rain… life… my life… This led to my realization and understanding of things, why there are thunders and lightings, why thunder follows only after a lightning, and why there is nothing at all without rain. To me, it’s a wakeup call. Nature’s very own alarm clock. Everytime it pours, it means a lot to me; a new life before the day ends, a new beginning even before the sun peaks out again; all in its natural way, all in its order.

I’m thinking of certain people, those whom I care about the most and those whom I’ve had a fair share of my life with before… Lately, I’ve been filled with emptiness, I’ve been running around in circles, I’ve been lost, confused, and absolutely clueless of what comes next. It never was enough and never will be I told myself, knowing what went wrong and trying to patch things up with my own hands. It will never be the same again.

When the skies light up, lined with patterns so beautiful to the human eyes, a loud roar follows; frightening and chilling. It gets to your very existence as if scolding you of what you’ve done. It dires you of the coming pains and prepares you for battle. Only the strong shall prevail given their strength and weakness. Life to me is as simple as that, I never got away with whatever that was meant to come but I’ve always been prepared. I have lost a few, but those are worth the millions that I have and will be getting them back in one way or another. There’s something about the rain that tells me to wait, it tells me not to ask for the thunder but rather enjoy the beautiful sight of lightning, it tells me not to ask for winds that can blow me away but rather enjoy the comfort of the cold breeze it bring, and it tells me to prepare for everything else coming because when it starts raining, it will pour…

There’s something about the rain that holds my secret to life; something about it that you too I hope would realize…

Do you remember this?

This is where everything started, meeting people whom I do not even know; strangers strangled upon my life. The world was black and white back then, before it even had color and before it even turned out to be the way it was again. We’ve had our own million ways, our own simple thoughts that made everyone happy. It was inspiring, it was worth everything else I ever had; and at these times, while I contemplate and look back, I feel no regrets, just pure happiness that makes me smile still and a tinge of sadness because of the fact that these days are long gone…

There are times in our life when we just don’t understand a thing, it’s as if all that you’ve ever come to know wasn’t true at all; worst, that it never really happened. Memories for me are a sneak peak of what has been, something that is irreplaceable and valuable. When I graduated from college I had the worst life anyone could ever imagine. I was totally lost and confused, I felt disconnected and worthless, I felt like I was being squeezed into my own personal space filled with only sadness and grief, I didn’t know how to move on, to take my very first step forward; I was terrified, I was uncertain, and weakened by something else that I do not even know. It wasn’t easy, it was quite a hangover; my very first ride in the horror train of life as I may describe it.

I must admit, I lived a very wonderful and colorful life back then. I surely did miss my bed in the dorm, the life I lived in the 9th floor of my Alma Matter, and of course the people I’ve been with for years and years; my good friends who painted my existence. It was on the 2nd of June 2010 that I woke up alone and dreary, it was the day the world turned black and white. I was literally shivering, scared to open my eyes and start realizing the new life ahead of me; without the sweetness of a student life anymore and without the company of the best people I’ve ever met. Damn ’twas crazy, it felt like dying, slowly burning, slowly fading away…

I was afraid to be forgotten, yeah, that’s really what it was. I was afraid to be unwanted and not needed, but then as it turned out over time, I was right. I faced my fears, my very own convictions and pushed through with my aspirations; the only people who never left are those whom I learned to treasure the most and that fact made me realize one very important lesson:

Life will always be in black and white, but to have true friends around you who will always be there and will never even think of leaving you is another story so as to say. They don’t paint your world with all these magnificent colors; they are the colors and you’re still the painter of your life; however you use them, mix them up and build greater horizons is entirely up to you.

People change and that’s all to it. Colors, if not pure and true will always fade away with time.

 

http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=alone&order=9&offset=0#/d11ftwo

*?: Ang galing independent ka na!

 

Me: ? Ha?

 

*?: Wala lang, nakakatuwa, you’re so young and yet you’re so free na!!!

 

Me: ‘Di kita gets.

 

*?: Ano ka ba, what I mean to say is, ang galing mo, you’re so brave!

 

Me: Ahh, wala ka nga talagang alam noh?

 

*?: ??? <staring at me with a blank face>

I thank people admiring me, really; I mean, no, don’t get me wrong on this. It’s just that sometimes when I am being placed by someone on the alpha-level-top-of-the-food-chain category; it makes me wonder if they really understand how it is to be here, where I am now, the ever independent pretentious spoiled brat making the most out of his life. I am happy, I do enjoy living the life I have as of the moment, it’s pretty challenging I must admit; everything seems so abrupt. You make a decision and *BOOM!, you do it without any more consent from your know-nothing-about-you-and-how-you-feel-as-you-describe-them parents. But hey, just hold on there for a second, I’m paying a price here and that is what you need to know…

What independence really awfully mean.

Sure do I enjoy my freedom; I can fuck whenever I want without anyone knowing. I have my own space, my own life, my own time, my own everything, and even my own God damn problems. I literally own everything, including my mind which is at the state of paranoia most of the time. It’s not easy. Living an independent life means living alone; don’t get so melodramatic on this; I know, I know, I have friends and people around me too just like you, but it isn’t the point here. What I mean by living alone is going home after a very stressful day on an empty rectangle shaped room with no one but you. You’re lucky enough if some of your friends sleep over, but that doesn’t happen all the time. It gets to your senses; you go home from a tiring day at work and find everything around you lifeless. It’s freaking you out from time to time. It’s not the kind of life you imagined when you were itching out to leave the comfort of your own home. Everything’s just so different and being brave is never enough.

 

*?: Bakit? Hindi ka ba masaya ngayon?

 

Me: Masaya, pero hindi sa paraang iniisip mo.

 

*?: Ano ba iniisip kong kasiyahan?

 

Me: Siyempre ang makatakas sa mga punyeta mong magulang.

 

*?: HAHA! Oo nga, gusto ko na nga eh. Tagal pa nga lang bago ako grumaduate.

 

Me: Huwag ka magmadali, darating ka rin dun. Balitaan mo ako!

3 years after…

 

*?: Tama ka nga, hindi nga madali.

 

Me: Tama saan?

 

*?: Sa sinabi mo dati about being independent.

 

Me: Talaga, ano ba sinabi ko?

 

*?: Ano ka ba andami mo kaya sinabi, wala ka na maalala?

 

Me: Wala eh, hindi kaya mahirap! Ang saya kaya!

 

*?: Sus! Dati sinabi mo ang hirap, tapos ngayon ang saya at hindi mahirap; ang labo mo!

 

Me: HAHA! Slow mo… Kaya nga dati.

 

*?: Ahh…

 

Me: Pero aaminin ko, namimiss ko rin ung kapag napapagod na ako at wala akong masandalan, iniisip ko, sana may nagsasaway sa akin nang gaya ng dati. Iyon bang pagsasabihan ako nang ‘ano’ng oras na, bakit ngayon ka lang umuwi?’ o ng ‘bakit gising ka pa?’ o pwede rin ang ‘kumain ka na ba?’, ‘maligo ka na’t male-late ka na!’, ‘saan ka ba galing at inabot ka na ng ganitong oras?’ ung mga ganung simpleng bagay…

 

*?: Haha, drama mo. Pero oo, nakakamiss nga iyon. *buntong hininga

 

Me: Hehehe… Sobra. Minsan pa nga, hinihiling ko na may makasama man lang ako araw-araw kahit alam mo ‘yun, kahit alam ko kung gaano ako kahirap makasama.

 

*?: Hoy! Tae! Anong oras na?

 

Me: Ayyy!!! Tang ina, bilis late na tayo!

 

*?: Ayos lang yan, naka reserved seating naman tayo eh, ‘di naman tayo mawawalan ng upuan hindi nga lang natin mauumpisahan ang movie.

 

Me: Hindi pede! Waah! Dali, abang ka na ng taxi! Malapit lang naman Glorietta, sana lang hindi traffic.

 

“When you require another individual for your survival, you are a parasite on that individual. There is no choice, no freedom involved in your relationship. It is a matter of necessity rather than love. Love is the free exercise of choice. Two people love each other only when they are quite capable of living without each other but choose to live with each other.”

- M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Travelled

import feelings.something;

import feelings.nothing;

import feelings.NoException;

class InLove

{

static void main(Love[] YOU)

{

String heart=”Me”;

String you = “<insert name here>“;

while(!heart.equalsIgnoreMe(“hurt”) || !heart.equalsIgnoreMe(“tired”))

{

System.out.println(“Still loving!”);

System.out.println(“I’m in love with ” + you +”!”);

}

try

{

if(heart.equalsIgnoreMe(“hurt”) || heart.equalsIgnoreMe(“tired”))

throw new Heart(“Move On!”);

}

catch(Someone you)

{

you.getHeart();

System.out.println(“Please take care of it…”);

}

}

}

// HAHAHA!!! Got this from my old blog. I’m not sure if this will work though, try compiling it to your life! Enjoy!!!