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The Line of my Life
The Line of my Life


2009
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

It still makes me wonder what 2009 would bring. Would it be another batch of heartaches or will I now learn the hardest art of all; the art of happiness? I've been through a lot this year, I've had a fair share of the world's unfair realities and I've proven as well how hard it bites. Things just get tougher, I get stronger, but am I ever better? It's a hard question that I need to answer in the quickest possible time. I need to know if I grow or stay the same. The old silly me... Damn!

Well, I just hope for the best, the best that there could be this coming year. I wish for more heartache, for more challenges, for more indelible remarks, and just about everything that will continue pushing me to the limits. 2008 has brought me far beyond my wildest imaginations, it has made me realize my full potentials, but it also made me long for more. I know I can be better, I know I can reach farther and greater heights, I know that there is still more in me than just being the old lazy slacky person that I am, I know I can still make a lot of difference, and that I can still touch many lives; I know it because I've seen it already and there's no way for me to stop.

I have conquered what needs to be conquered, a have dreamed the impossibilities, I have felt the most hurtful lies and I still managed to get through it alive, though a bit broken, but still indestructible. There's always a room for healing, that is where I am now, I chose to engage myself in a process that would once again prove my existence to the world, I chose to sleep again and dream the impossibilities that there is, and after when the rumbling sound of the firecrackers this coming new year's celebration wakes me up, I'll stand, I'll get myself ready to face 2009 with a big smile on my face, a light heart, and an optimistic remark! There is still a lot to know about the mysteries of the planet earth, a lot more to explore on the vast ocean of realities, acceptance, and hurtful truths. I'm not halfway on my journey to fulfillment, not even close yet, and so I continue my search for the never ending desire of my subtle mind.

I am excited to meet new people and to know my friends of the past once again. I am excited to look at myself in the mirror and see the new me. I am excited to face the world! I am so much more excited to learn the art of happiness. I've stayed dormant for a very long period of time already; it's time I get moving...

Are you excited as I am this coming year 2009?

I just wish you are. The past hurts, the past me, the past, everything about it; I'll not leave them behind; I'll carry them with me so that there would be something that I could use when fallacy and ignorance dare bring me down again! It's quite useful don't you think? Imagine...

So now my challenge to the world is to bring me the toughest problems that she could ever place upon my shoulder and prove me worthless of my existence. I challenge the world to bring out the best in me, and I challenge the world to learn the things that I've already learned! It's quite unfair though, I'm challenging the world for something which she can't even think about of doing; I'm challenging her for something which I've already been through a lot of times, a challenge that has never defied my existence, a challenge that I never afforded to lose; damn the world! But sure enough though it's still a challenge eventhough I definitely know that I'd win over and over again.

I may just be a "no one" in the eyes of many, but they just don't know the greatest secret that I hold so dear in me... My own personal weapon against all adversities, my very own best friend, my very own angel, and my very own self...

Consider this as a blessing, serendipity as they call it, for I will share with you now my life's greatest secret, on how I manage to win against everything and how I conquer the world with pride and might, able to stand up in times of draught, and able to fight still alone in the midst of all the unfortunate happenings... This is my secret...

Him...

Everything, just everything is because of Him... 2009, another year, another life, another me, another challenge, another test, another everything, but never another Him...

He is life, He is my life, and He will always be my everything...



"Love God above all things; that is the first and only greatest commandment..."



Now I challenge you, are you strong enough to step up to it?





A simple rule on human nature:

"In the year 2009 let us all remember these simple rules of humanity; rules which will forever be true to itself:



a.) First, not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.

b.) Second, not everyone who gets you out of that shit is your friend.

c.) And lastly, when you're in deep shit, learn to keep your mouth shut!



Fair enough? "







>> GOD IS GOOD, _________________...


December 26, 2008 | 9:46 AM Comments  0 comments

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What I Always Needed
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

There are many time in someone's life where they start thinking about the natural process that occurs. The part where they start to wonder about the vast difference of being able to exist in this miserable world and being able to exist in the world of misery. The question in here is; is there really any difference? People oftentimes confuse themselves with what is and what is not, of what should be and what shouldn't be; they tend to disregard the consequences of the situations which they choose to live their lives with. It's quite a mystery though, why others tend to choose living their life just for the sake of breathing.

I am quite puzzled, quite oblivious of the facts that I never wanted to accept. I started wondering about my life, where I am, where I'm going and most importantly; where I've been. Way back in my yonder years, I thought that I was the luckiest child in the planet. I've had everything, the love and care I wanted. I wasn't selfish though, I never was, what I have is what others must have too; I told myself, most especially if that other is my brother. But that's not the case here...

I thought that I was the luckiest mainly because someone, someone who loved me as hers decided to make a difference in my life forever. She was treated by my innocent life as a mother, complete with all that of an innocent soul could ever offer. I love her, she loved me. I know, because I felt it, I know because she was there, she never left me, and I know she never will; but everything changed when I grew up, everything changed when I started to realize the things that only grown-ups understand... How I wish I'm a child forever, how I wish I never grew more remorse than this, how I wish I'd never have to wonder about this strange feeling I have right now; if I was born lucky or just lucky enough to be born...

It hurts to accept some obvious facts. It hurts to understand. It hurts to know, and it hurts to be forgotten. Life couldn't be as cruel as this I suppose, but it is... I know my faults, where I went wrong and where I am going to be wrong, but all those got me on top. I was happy, I never felt free my entire life, I never felt this feeling; this feeling of wanting to know myself more, exploring the world around me alone. I just wanted to find out if the world was really miserable, or am I being miserable to my world. I tested the waters, but unfortunately when I came back to my senses, the one person that I've always counted on to understand me failed. No one knew what I felt, I never wanted anyone to know; all that I can ever thought of was that the one true person who can really understand me got tired and never cared to be at my side at all; in the most crucial part of me being a whole person... I am incomplete, there's a missing piece to the puzzle in my life, the one piece which only my better understanding holds, the piece I've always been longing for...

For the past years I've lived my life alone. I proved to myself that I can be able to achieve all my goals with only my weapon in hand, even without my armor. For the past years I've proven my convictions to be true, I've accepted the fact that I can never have everything that I want, but what I cannot accept is that I too can never ever have what I always needed; the child in me that once felt to be the luckiest to have lived.

I for once detest the natural occurrence in my life. This shouldn't have been happening if I realized in the first place that making a difference would also mean sacrificing something very different in your life, something that has always been different, something which you have that others don't. Well, I guess for me it was that child who was loved a lot, but decided to go on wandering the world alone. I made a wrong choice that made me complete, the choice which factually makes me happy, the choice that justifies my action to be righteous in all senses. I've had accepted some facts already though, facts which has battered my life, but luckily made me tougher, wiser, and stronger. This is who I am now, it's for the people around me to accept...

The world's a miserable place, I am miserable to my world; which, therefore enables me to make the best out of life. I never was lucky to be born, I was born lucky! I always be, luck is defined by how you choose to exist, it never defines your existence, and it never will decide your fate. I've lived and enjoyed my life for the past years, though I didn't have what I always needed, but somehow I managed to make it through. I've been on the verge of breaking down for so many times already and I always decide to win the game.

Point here is, no one can ever stop you except yourself and if you do not have what you always need, then don't force yourself to have it. People needs many things, but what I need is only a simple understanding that I can always make a difference; just like what my mom chose to do when she first saw me... I do not regret anything in life and I do not blame mom for this misery. I am responsible for whatever things that comes my life now, there's no one to blame... As for my mom, I'm glad she made me feel incomplete in the long wrong, because now I finally completed myself, though alone yet more complete than ever.

"Thanks mom and never forget that I'll always love you, for whatever it is that may have come between us, I never did let it make me forget the light and warmth of your presence. You're just as good, never been better. And what I need in fact is just YOU; you're more than enough and you too deserve to be happy!"